One of my great friends is expecting her first baby. I'm pretty excited because although we are interstate from one another, I cant wait to see both of our sons running aroiund together. Mini versions of their best mate Dads.
Having your first baby is a big deal. And one of our closest friends doing it is extra amazing because, you can get all the joy and cuddles of a delicious newborn bubble of squishiness to fall in love with, without the vaginal tearing. This pleases me (sorry babe).
On thinking about their upcoming life-changing event, theres so much I want to say to her. Theres also so much I already have said throughout her pregnancy.
You see she has come to me a lot for advice and the raw truth. Which I have given - sometimes not what she wanted or expected to hear but, it was it was the reality. (this is something I have promised myself - to always be honest. No matter how gruesome.)
Anyway, sometimes when you have more important things to say, the words just don't come in natural conversation.
So, SURPRISE! I'm sharing with her and you all - because some of you may be expecting and need to hear this too; an open letter of things I have been meaning to say... but just haven't yet.
So, here it goes.
My Beautiful, strong friend,
You've got this.
I know you're worried. I know you're scared - especially with all the complications you have endured but, you do have this,. All that lies before you right now is one big and terrifying mystery. You're wondering what kind of birth you are going to have and what kind of Mother you are going to be and if you will succeed at Motherhood.
What I know and can tell you is, you will succeed. Hell! you will exceed. In birth and Motherhood.
Why do I know this? Well, let me tell you.
You're going to be amazing.
I've seen you with my own son and the love you have to give him - imagine how much love you will have for your little boy!
I know you question yourself (as we all do), wondering whether you will be a good Mum. Will you know what to do and when to do it. I have no doubt in my mind that you will. With Thomas you are kind, you are patient, you are loving, fun and a tentative. You are aware and inclusive. You are happy and content being in his presence. You'll be all these things- and more with your own son. You have one of the biggest hearts of anyone I've known. You're baby is a lucky little boy.
Ask for help. Seriously.
I want to tell you that when your baby arrives, you can ask for my help but, we all know I'm not easily accessible for you in person. I will be there in spirit though! You know you can message or call me anytime.
And I know you think because I have a little one of my own, you won't want to bother me but, I'm telling you that you wont bother me. I want to help where I can and when I can. Because I am invested I your life and your new babies.
I want to tell you that when he arrives, you can ask for my advice.
But, you don't have to take it. I won't be hurt with you finding your own way of doing things, ill celebrate it. I might even take a page out of your book.
Also, you should remember to take all kinds of advice that you are given (and you will be given a lot), well-meaning or otherwise, with a grain of salt. Even if that advice is from me.
I am going to rock "Aunthood"
I am already an official Aunt and I can't wait to take on that title with your son as well.
I will love him. You know how you love Thomas? Even when you weren't pregnant and didn't have a thought about motherhood. Even when I was pregnant and you were invested in his life? Well, I will love yours just as you loved mine. Because I too am invested.
I want you to know that if I could be and you wanted me to be that I would be there - walking the halls while you breathe and pant in labour. Or be there at 3am for you to call on when he has woken up every half hour and you just need some rest. I want to tell you that I will be there to comfort and rock him back to sleep - but, I cant be because I live away. But, no doubt if Thomas keeps his sleeping pattern; I too will be up at 3am with big bags wondering if anyone else in the world is awake. And I will talk to you- support you and reassure you. Because we are in this thing together. Motherhood that is!
I'm so proud of you.
I want you to know that no matter what happens, how you feel or how you do it - I will be proud of you.
Whether you have an epidural or not - whether you deliver vaginally or through a caesarean. If your baby sleeps or if it doesn't. If you complain about exhaustion - even if you complain everyday. If you implement a strict routine or take it hour by hour - each day as it comes. I will be proud of you.
Look at all the things you've already battled and overcome in your pregnancy - from blood thinners to hypertension. You battled it all - I am proud of your strength.
Whether you have an epidural or not - whether you deliver vaginally or through a cesearian. If your baby sleeps or if it doesn't. If you complain about exhaustion - even if you complain everyday. If you implement a strict routine or take it hour by hour - each day as it comes. I will be proud of you.
I will be proud of you no matter how you tackle Motherhood. No matter how well you cope or don't cope. No matter how many times you think you fail (because we all have those moments) but, you won't fail. Not in any way. You will succeed and exceed like I said earlier.
I'm not going anywhere.
I want to tell you that I will be here. Through the struggles, the celebrations and everything in between. And even if I didn't like you - I think we have no choice. Our partners have been best friends for ever.
I know I wont be around much but, when I am I will be full force and present with you and your child(ren).
We will always band together and love on each other because we all need those Mum friends. I will be that for you - even from afar.
I want to tell you that we will always be us. Hilarious, ridiculous, fabulous us. Clueless and winging Motherhood. But, winging it together.
We will go from early mornings of shots to early mornings of feedling and resettling but, deep down we will always be the same us.
There may be more to us now - more of us but, we can still be you and me. The fiery girls with the big hearts.
Lets keep that alive in each other - through all the seasons.
So much is about to change for you in the coming weeks but, one thing will always remain - I will be here and I will be proud.
You've got this Mummah!
Whether you have an epidural or not - whether you deliver vaginally or through a caesarean. If your baby sleeps or if it doesn't. If you complain about exhaustion - even if you complain everyday. If you implement a strict routine or take it hour by hour - each day as it comes. I will be proud of you.
Now... Let's have this baby!
Love,
Your supportive and excited friend. xx
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