After Delivery Reality

So, you have had your baby. You just went through labour and you met the little soul you have been growing for so many months... now what?!

So many people are so focused on the impending birth and delivering their baby that the recovery period and days following are often looked over.

The first 72 hours of Thomas’ life was a complete rollercoaster. And, I’m here to tell you the raw details- so, buckle up!

After delivery you will be so in awe of your little miracle. Staring at them constantly is completely normal; I mean who wouldn’t stare at that adorable puffy face?!!

Anyway, you have literally just gone through the equivalent to a car crash regardless of how you delivered and you’re expected to recover from that PLUS look after a brand new life- and if you’re a first time Mum like me- what the heck does that all entail?!!

I wish I had of known more about the first few days with a newborn; not just the baby side but the Mother side as well.

The first 24hours consisted of Thomas sleeping a lot, skin to skin, (trying) to breastfeed which was really hard for us to establish and trying to figure out how to actually look after him.

Every 3 hours like clockwork we had to get his heel pricked, sugar levels checked and all his obs done. Hearing your baby scream because their heels were so bruised was honestly heartbreaking and I did blame myself a little. It was me who had GDM resulting in all of this. How could my body do that to my little guy?

He also had jaundice but, luckily his levels were low enough that he didn’t need any treatment, but he had to be monitored in case they increased.

I was very much in a bubble- my beautiful newborn bubble and it was happy, confusing, painful, exciting and busy!

I was prepared for sleep deprivation but, even though I had been told about night 2 of my babies life; what it entailed was not what I expected. Whenever my friends are about to give birth I ALWAYS warn them about night 2/day 3.

This is where my settled, (still stubborn at feeding), sleepy baby turned into something else. How could he possibly cry for the better half of 24hours. And I’m talking not being able to settle him, no idea why he is crying constantly cry. I’m told this is because they finally start to wake up and realise where the F am I?! Where is my mums womb, what is that thing looking at me and why do I have to feed myself. I was lucky enough to have Tom stay with me - he was the only one to calm Thomas. I couldn’t do it and it made me feel terrible. Was I a bad Mum? How could I not settle my own baby? And also... why won’t my eyes stop watering?!!!

Apparently this is completely normal for babies and for Mums!

Night 2 is when he also choked a bit on vomit. That’s when we both went into overdrive and stared at him literally 24/7.

Although he was technically a special care baby we were allowed to have him in our room and go back and fourth 3 hourly.

Because he was in a private room with us, after the choking incidence we literally took shifts in staying up cuddling him on our chest. We were doing well until our 3am feed where our night nurse took one look at us and said “are you getting any sleep?” We explained what had happened and she said to leave him until the next feed in the special care for observation. I didn’t want to leave him but it was only 1.5hours until the next feed. And he needed to be monitored. That was possibly the best sleep I had had for a while.

Looking back now, I don’t think she really did need to monitor him, I think she just wanted to give us a break and I feel grateful for that.

My hormones were changing and it wasn’t something I had ever experienced before. Hot flushes were constant, I was super emotional and I was questioning every decision. Was he warm enough (turns out YES because we overheated him) and could I breastfeed? Surely breastfeeding - something so natural shouldn’t be so hard. No one warned me.

Thomas was so lethargic that he had so much trouble latching. That and my enormous boobs nearly suffocated him every time. I had to express colostrum to syringe feed and he needed formula top ups to keep his blood glucose levels in order.

Day 3 my milk came in. And didn’t I bloody know it! My boobs swelled up like balloons (I didn’t think it was actually possible for them to get any bigger). The hot flushes continued and sweats that made me feel like I had been thrown into early menopause were hard to maintain.

Plus, my boobs became public property. Every woman and her dog were pulling, prodding and touching them to help my lazy, lethargic boy latch.

If you were lucky enough (insert sarcastic face here) to get stiches like me then walking is difficult. You swell anyway and it is extremely hot but, with stitches you will walk like a cowgirl. It feels gritty, swallen and sore.

Sitting down is also a task. I had to lower myself down and sit on the side of my butt making sure my stitches weren’t actually touching any surface because- OUCH!

A pump bottle with warm salt water resolution became my best friend. After every toilet I would flush it with this which is not comfortable at all and everything stings. Even the thought of weeing stung. And another piece of advice- if you thought you peed a lot while pregnant; sorry to say ladies! It doesn’t stop. You still have a frequent urge to wee. And that lasts for a while except now it’s even harder to hold onto (pelvic floor strength was literally non existent for me).

So much so I actually peed on the floor of my room multiple times. And I’m not talking a little dribble. I am talking a whole bladder motion, in a puddle, on the floor. I didn’t even know it was coming and then bam! I’m soaked. (Insert more crying here)

Post partum bleeding is heavy. And clots are going to happen. When you pass a clot it kind of feels like a mini placenta coming out. It’s relieving but also very uncomfortable. Pads will become your best friend. I recommend stocking up because you will want to change them every toilet trip! Keep that southern region clean and dry (so they say) - I mean how is that possible when I am constantly bleeding?!

You will also have a fear of actually going to the toilet. You just pushed out a newborn baby and the thought of pooping will cause a fear you never knew existed but, get yourself a poop stool (yes I said that) for your feet and DON’T put it off. The longer you leave it the worse it actually gets. And the midwives will ask about your bowel movements and if you have passed gas.

You won’t mind about telling them either- you’re dignity well and truly goes out the window and you literally don’t care who knows what personal details.

Your stomach will continue to get poked and prodded for “remaining placenta” and abdominal separation.

You will also experience after birth pains for weeks or even months following. Sometimes these are so painful you question whether its a contraction.

All of this is happening and you are still trying to juggle you’re new body, recovering and keeping yourself clean while also trying to figure out how the hell to swaddle a baby, hold your baby, burp your baby and why is their tar coming out of its butt?!

These first few days are confusing and overwhelming but, are made a lot easier with the help of the hospital staff. At least they are there to fall back on and guide you.

We were pretty lucky that our families were able to come and visit from interstate basically straight away and because they were all there we didn’t even think to invite other visitors in. Now, looking back I’m actually happy with that decision. I was swollen, sore, zombie like and learning the ropes. I was happy to be able to feel completely comfortable with just family around and not having to worry about being a sweaty mess or voicing that I needed some rest.

I feel like once you have a baby people assume Mum is fine which most of the time we look it but, inside we are freaking out. No one checked my stitches before discharge but, Thomas was given a complete once over.

My mind was on overdrive- i was constantly worried about how he was and was he okay. I questioned everything I was doing - was I a good Mum?! Is this normal... who knows!

The days following my sons birth were honestly magical, messy and unforgettable. When I said earlier that it was a rollercoaster - I was not kidding.

All of this was happening and it was only the first 3 days- we hadn’t even left the hospital yet!

Now... going home that’s when the fun really began!

More on that next week...

Until next time,

Carly xx