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MY CARLYFUL LIFE

My Not-So-Private Diary

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A Mothers Day Truth

With Mothers Day coming up this weekend I thought it was only fit to honour those in our lives that are the Motherly figure.


I love that we set aside a whole day to honour and celebrate the women who raised us. My mum was an amazing mother who dedicated her life to her three daughters. She was selfless yet strong- and the most beautiful woman I know. Mother’s Day holds a special place in my own heart now because of the little one who made me a Mum. This will be my first of many Mothers Days to wake up and feel grateful that I have that title. I love waking up to his little feet bringing me the joy of kicks to the face and his smile beaming as I go to get him from his cot. These are the moments that remind me motherhood is a gift, and fostering these little people’s growth is my favourite job of all.


Every year as Mother’s Day gets close, I get a little nostalgic about my own Mum and how much celebrating her in the day-to-day means to me. To all the Mums reading this, I want to encourage you to fully appreciate the season you’re in, share some of the challenges and triumphs I know its what holds us as a community together. This I’ve experienced in the short time I've been a Mum.

As a quick side note, when I started writing this post it was all about the joy of motherhood—but when I thought about all the strong Mums around me, it didn’t take me long to realise the name “Mum” isn’t easy to come by. These mothers have fought infertility, miscarriage or even the loss of a child. So whether you’re a Mum right in the middle of raising your babies, or you find yourself in the midst of immense pain—this day is for all of us.

You are strong, enough, loved and you are superwoman. Being a Mum is the hardest but, most rewarding job you will ever do.

It takes hard work, determination and fighting through utter exhaustion to show up and be there for your children - and look at you do it Mama! You are a pretty special woman.


 

Since becoming a Mother myself, my eyes have been opened to the reality that is parenthood. I have a new found respect for Mums but, I have a new love and appreciation especially for my own Mum.


If you haven't known me long you wouldn't know but, I wasn't exactly the most easy going, co-operative and loving child. I had a big temper, short fuse and a will to do what I wanted to do.



Mum, I know you're reading this because I know you support me so much. There are a few things i would like to say. Most of it should of been said a long time ago. So today I wanted to sit down and type up a little something, just for you.





I'm sure with a daughter like me, I think you’re allowed a minimum of three complete mental and emotional breakdowns per DAY, yet you tolerate me and guide me through without any complaints.

I know our relationship hasn't always been like it is now, looking back on my teenage years and how I treated you all I feel is regret. Deep regret and guilt. How could I not want to listen, appreciate and spend time with a person who I now consider my very best friend. A woman who has only ever had my nest interest at heart.


I know I was a handful. I made your life more stressful than it should have been. But I want you to know that all of the backtalk and all of the sass was a mistake. I should have never treated you how I did, and I want to apologize for all of the hurt I’ve caused and all of the pain I’ve put you through because you sure as hell didn’t deserve any of it.



Mothers are always seen as the strong ones, the ones who protect their daughters from all danger and heartbreaks - you were no different.


“Don’t date that guy with the tattoos, he’s up to no good”, “Keep yourself nice”, “Don’t stop in the middle of the road, you want to get killed?!”.

I am sorry for all the times I was stubborn and impossible when I thought I was right. I should have listened to you when you told me that I shouldn’t do something because in the end you were always right and I was always wrong -- usually.

Mothers know best, right? RIGHT. You did know best because you are the one who knows me best.


I am sorry for all the times I got annoyed when you made me check in when I was out with friends. I should have been grateful and realized that you care so much about me — enough to want to make sure that I am safe at all times.


I am sorry for the times I chose to hang out with my friends and to participate in other non-important activities over you. I should have realized that you are the only one who will be by my side until the day I die and you should always come before everyone and everything else.


I am sorry for all the times I didn’t do what you told me to do right when you told me to do it. I should have immediately done everything you ask me to do because now I know that when you said “now” you said it for a reason.


I am sorry for the times that I let you down. You are my number one supporter and you put all of your faith in me. I should have tried harder because I know that you just want what’s best for me.

I am sorry for all of the times I fought with you. I should have just shut my mouth. I never meant to start a fight with you when you told me I couldn’t go out because you wanted to spend some quality time together.


All my life (and probably most your life) you have been watching over me attentively. I used to take your advice with a roll of the eyes and a big sigh but now, I happily accept your advice. I actually welcome it.


Before I moved away, our relationship was pretty strained. Although, I miss you and the whole family so much I am actually glad I moved away. Ironic that distance has actually brought us closer. I have learnt to appreciate you and see you for who you are - and that, is amazing.


You have always been strong and independent, and I’ve seen that because you are a hard worker and you never back down from anything. I am proud to have such a kind, compassionate Mum like you and I’ve seen that because you love people so much. It is because of your teachings, and those lessons that I am who I am today.


One thing that I know that I appreciate is that you taught me how to be a woman.



I’m still not sure how you did it, but you did all of this while taking care of us. You did that with a lot of things, and most of the time I took it for granted. So, I just want to thank you for always making things right when the world seemed like it was crashing down on me. Oh, and also, thank you for being my absolute superhero.


Now that I am a Mum myself, I have seen the "behind-the-scenes" of everything that you have done for us girls. The selflessness and the determination.

You were the one I asked for when I was in labour - all I needed was my Mum. f this was 5 years ago I don't think I would of felt comfortable to call you in my vulnerable state.

Now, I want you to be there to witness all these moments in my life with me. Both happy ones and sad ones.



I know that you are my biggest supporter, my biggest critic and the person who I confide in the most. I mean, if you don't answer my daily phone calls I can a little mad.

I want to hear the old wives tales that you think will help Thomas with his rash or that the cry "I've been hearing is actually a pain cry and not a hunger one. I want to draw all the knowledge you have gained through experience but, most of all; I want to make up for all the time I have lost.


All the time I gave up to be with people who would never matter s much as you do.

I want Thomas to think and feel the same way I do about you, about me.

I want to be a mother a child can be proud of. The same way I am proud of you.


Mum, I can never get back the years we lost, the years we fought and the years I tried to run away. But I can and I will appreciate, cherish and make the most of the time we have now.


Thank-you for being my Mum and standing by me through it all. You are one special lady. You are an amazing Mum and an even better Nancy.



Thank-you for always believing I had the power and pushing me to learn it myself.


 

On this Mothers Day I will feel more love and appreciation for you and for all the incredible women we surround ourselves like never before. Because I finally get it, I get what it takes to be a Mother. I get the sacrifice, the heart wrenching pain when they cry and I get the overwhelming joy.


To all the Mums, the Grandmas, the fur Mums, the soon-to-be Mums and the one-day Mums - Happy Mothers Day.


This ones for you.


Until next time,



Carly xx




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